I spent years trying to find a way out of places that I felt stuck in during my life. I wanted guidance on all types of topics that were going to increase my self-awareness. I wanted to know how to overcome my habits. I was searching for ways to be a better parent, eat in ways that supported my health and I was wishing to learn how to have better relationships with people. During my quest for knowledge, I read many different books by different authors and I noticed that many of them offer the same piece of advice: to meditate. When the teachers were telling their own stories of transformation, they always mentioned that they had a meditation practice. When they were offering tools to use meditation I was eager and open to trying them out.
I have taken this advice and I have been working on my personal meditation practice for nine years. As a result, my life flows differently now. When I meditate for several days consecutively, it is especially noticeable! Here are examples of two big changes I have noticed:
The next step on one's path becomes clear.
So, let's say I “feel stuck” in the area of making new friends. One day, I meet someone who feels like they could be my new bestie. I can sense we are going to have a good time. Even though I want to make a new friend, my thoughts default to saying things like “I'm too busy to start a new friendship” or “that lady doesn’t like Star Trek so what would we even talk about?!” Without meditation, this kind of thinking usually comes up for me. And If it goes unchecked, my life stays the same and I miss the chance to make a new friend. With meditation, however, when those same thoughts come up, I can more clearly see the opportunity to choose differently if it feels good. So in this scenario, if I were in the middle of a meditation streak, I would remember that I have been saying to myself “I wish I had a wider circle of friends.” Then, I would recognize that my life has put this person in front of me and is giving me the opportunity to make it so! With meditation, my internal conversation ends differently. I am able to admit "Yes, maybe she won’t want to hit up the Trek convention this year, but she does like wine and swearing! I have been asking the universe to send me my people, and this person is right in front of me and it feels good. I am going to take the next step and see if she wants to grab a tea or take a tour of a historical museum. So you see? My thoughts impact my choices. When I commit to my meditation practice, it helps me create the change I am aiming for!
Meditation helps steer you away from “Autopilot” reactions
When faced with a conflict, how do handle feeling emotionally triggered? Perhaps it's an argument with a family member or maybe you're just moving along in life and someone comes in hot, say, at a traffic light or at the grocery store. They tell you they don’t like what you're doing. Or, maybe you don’t like what they are doing. On my non-meditation days, I find myself more likely to respond in a way that does not reflect who I want to be. To put it another way, I am more likely to tell them to get bent. Meditation helps me keep my cool when someone is going the wrong way on those floor arrows or coughing on the Chex Mix. My instinct is to take a breath and calculate my next move. When I have let my meditation practice slip I notice that I am inclined to express those negative comments. They come flying out of my mouth before I can take a minute to process the emotion. I end up causing a ruckus and getting worked up over a person who really doesn’t care what I (or the arrows on the floor) are trying to tell them.
A meditation practice will look different for each individual person. In the beginning, it can be fun to experiment with different types of mediation and see what works best for you. There are lots of resources available on Youtube for guided meditations or you can use an app like Insight Timer and do one silently to yourself. Prayer can also be considered meditation, and some people even do it while running or when they are gardening. The most important part is not how you meditate, it is that you make the space in your life to do it consistently. It makes the biggest impact when you do it every day - when it becomes a ritual.
Consistency. Repetition. Ritual
When you develop a daily meditation practice, you are telling your life that you are ready to make changes. You are willing to devote your time, attention, and intention to create a life that feels better for you. You are recognizing that the changes in your life will come from you and your choices, not by just reacting in the same old way to things that are holding you back.
I would encourage you to try meditating every day for a week. Do you notice any improvement in the areas I mentioned above? If you have goals for yourself, and you're not sure how to get there - or you just feel that something needs to change - meditation can be one key to opening that door. If you give it a try I would love to hear about your results! Feel free to message me on the contact page or flag me down on the street.
~ Patricia