The story of my journey
I remember when I was 25 years old, and I had just spent the past 3 years working on a cruise ship, sailing around the world. I was in love with a man that I had met overseas and I wanted to leave my job, and start a family and life with him. I knew in my heart that it was what I wanted, and I wanted to jump right in and go for it. However, there were people in my life who were telling me that I was crazy, that they were upset with me and afraid for me because of my choices. To them it looked like I was a woman who was now living with my mother, working at the local mall. I was pregnant and the father of my baby was on the other side of the world, and he was not yet allowed to enter Canada. I felt afraid too, but I also knew in my heart that it was right. So I just kept taking the next step.
Within a few months we were able to get married, my husband was able to come here, and we bought a house! Life was good. We had another baby, and then another baby! I had a good job as a Travel Agent and my husband was making a nice living too. But I still felt restless. I thought, maybe a bigger house? Maybe I need to be running the business I was at and not just working there? I set these goals for myself, and of course I took it step by step…and I got there.
Everything was good. I loved my co-workers and all the perks that came with my job…free drinks and free trips! I was making good money, I made my own schedule, and I loved my clients. I had a nice house, 2 cars, a stand mixer, yada yada. Everything I thought I could have wanted…but inside I was still restless. I knew that something in my life wasn’t quite “there” yet, but I had no idea what. I felt stuck and I did not know what it was that I wanted to be different.
In my heart I realized that in order to grow, I needed to be in a different line of work. But what would I do? Plus, my job was amazing! Anytime I mentioned leaving my career to the people in my life they were surprised and tried to tell me that I was crazy. I was having flashbacks to my life at 25 years old: “Don't do it girl, you’re great at that job!” or “You’re crazy to think about giving up all those benefits and trips!”. So I listened to those people. But I started to notice that the more I ignored what my heart was telling me, the more I noticed problems with the things that I did love. The impact of suppressing my desires made me feel tense and stressed. I was yelling at my kids, making mistakes at work. I tried to put a band-aid fix on it and took a small leave of absence. I took different classes, from Medical Terminology to Genealogy. I learned to read tarot cards, went camping, read so many books and tried so many different things.
Back at work, I started making some huge commissions. And I had booked an awesome Disney Trip for my whole family to celebrate. But I still felt more miserable than ever! I knew then that all the money and trips that I could imagine would not bring me the peace that following my heart would give me. I knew that I needed to be doing something else. I ended up stepping down as manager and working part-time from home.
Throughout life I had always made time to learn new things, and one area that I had studied was Reiki. My Reiki teacher was also a Life Coach. I had never met or really heard of that before, but I was open to anything. I knew that I had been asking myself “Where am I supposed to go next? What am I supposed to do now?” and I had been unable to find those answers on my own. I asked her for help.
After my coaching sessions I felt amazing. My teacher suggested several avenues for my “coaching education” and I found the Martha Beck program. Right away I knew that I was in the right place. One of the first things that I learned through practice on myself and others, is how to listen to your heart. I listened and felt what was happening in my body when I thought about my current work, and it was like an allergic reaction. I decided then that I was done working my corporate job, period.
My biggest lesson learned is that if you are doing something that you don’t want to be doing, because you are afraid of what will happen when you stop…it will catch up with you. If you feel deeply passionate about something that makes your heart sing, just go for it. You owe it to yourself.
